While a morning self reiki blast, my bed turned into the car of a railroad, the car was lead underground and while seeing all kind of evil weird things,fearless, I started drawing the dai ko myo symbol and repeating its mantra. Suddenly started speaking about Christ like preaching, my voice wasnt mine anymore, it was a powerful voice in spanish speaking of Jesus on its own. Then it was no longer the present, it was like the reinassance italy or rome long before.
Then it was over.
Sorry about your mum, man. Hopefully things do start looking up for you. Life's tough.
You can do it!!!! You're a tough cookie. :)